The Chat Sidebar

At lunch today,

while gluing my eyes onto the feed of the Facebook page that I administrate, suddenly I looked a bit to the right – at the Messenger sidebar.

 

Two names caught my eyes – one was the guy I’m “seeing”, followed by the guy I was seeing 3 years ago.  Both were online.  Let’s give each of them a name, Thunderstorm vs. Thundercloud.

 

They are both my summers – at different times.

 

What was interesting was the feels they give me, just by looking at their names on my chat sidebar.

 

Thundercloud and the summer of 3 years ago are now gone, but they were such haunters.  Ironically, Thundercloud came on a cloudless day, then went away leaving other days with the never-ending thunder and lightning.

 

During those stormy days, I would constantly look at my Messenger and wish for a cloudy day.  As cheesy as it sounds, I would feel a million butterflies in my stomach everytime his name appeared on my chat sidebar, with the small green dot next to his name.

 

Back to present, the last message Thundercloud sent me was a heart emoji, but now even if I wished for another million butterflies in my tummy again, I’d rather wish for food.

 

Thundercloud’s still online.  Right above his name is that of Thunderstorm.  He’s been online for about an hour now.  I’ve never seen him online that long, unless he’s chatting with me.  But we’re not.

 

I guess how I felt about seeing Thundercloud’s name on Messenger that summer has been transferred to when I notice Thunderstorm’s this summer. But now there has to be like a zillion butterflies.

 

It is a stormy summer, weather-wise.

 

The last message Thunderstorm sent me was a photo, and I didn’t respond.

 

I’ve been yearning for sunshine all summer, and now that sunshine’s gone, I don’t think I’d want to wait on a thunderstorm that is sure to be over by October.

 

Funny how at one point in your life, one person means so much to you, and since they don’t physically stay in your sight all the time,  their online presence can at least ensure you that they’re over there somewhere, making you feel “close” to them in a way.  That is Thundercloud then and Thunderstorm now.  You see a light in them, then darkness surrounds.

 

One day when you go back to look at that chat sidebar again, Thunderstorm or Thundercloud will both have already turned into rain, which washed away all the feels, and let another Sunshine arrive and knock on your door.

 

Till next time,

ᴊᴜʟɪᴇʏᴛʜᴇ1sᴛ

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